The Best Therapy for a Grieving Immigrant

By Paniz AghaPour Maleki | March 21, 2024

 Bio: Paniz is a biology major who is pursuing a pre-medical track. Her writing concentrates on her background as an Immigrant from Iran. She explores the emotional changes and transitions that occurred in her life as she moved to another country through music.

        As an immigrant, I often find myself in a nostalgic depression. I left at a young age and I am only left with glimpses of the past, the joys, the people, and myself. I yearn to experience these glimpses beyond my fuzzy, fading memory. The collection of songs in the Mr. Violet album by the Pallett Band allows me to relive those times I spent in Iran and to experience a part of myself that was only present in its absence, that grew as a metaphorical pit, that was deteriorating the self. The songs from the band are a remedy for the homesick Iranian, who feel as though they left something behind, an experience, a person, or themselves. I would describe their music as a mixture of the East and the West. The three songs in the album that perfectly exemplify these traits are “From Eastern Lands”, “Waltz No.1”, and “Half of Us”.

        In the song, “From Eastern Lands”, the piece begins with an instrument traditionally associated with the West, the piano. It is then accompanied by a flute, which is often utilized in Persian classics. This union encapsulates my experience of Iran as a developing nation. I grew up around people who reminisced about the Westernized Shah era of the nation, yet their pride in their culture maintained their traditions. People who would enjoy their chai nabat after their pizza, admire the Persian rugs under their feet as they sit on a 17th-century French-style sofa. The East and the West exist simultaneously in every home in Iran and this song expresses that.

        The lyrics of the song, “From Eastern Lands”, are not as wholesome as the memories they conjure up. “من اول روز دانستم که این عهد که با من میکنی محکم نباشد که دانستم که هرگز سازگاری پری را با بنی آدم نباشد” loosely translates to “I knew from the first day that your promise was weak because a fairy cannot make companionship with a human being” (Pallett Band, 2013 ). The song is about the loss of a lover but throughout the song, he cannot help praising her even as his heartaches. It is a lyrically poetic song that I find my love of Iran in. A love that continually adores the country through the childish lens of my memories, but brings me heartache the more I learn of the state of the country beyond its assortment of delicious saffron ice cream.

        The song “Waltz No.1” lacks a lot of the prominent Persian identity that is in the instrumentals of “From Eastern Lands”, nevertheless it is expressed in the lyricism. The song’s lyric “میگویمت به باد, باد مینالدت. میریزمت به ابر, ابر می باردت” says “I say you to the wind, the wind yells you. I pour you in the cloud, the cloud rains you”(Pallett Band, 2013”. The song is about how the more he tries to rid his spirit of her, the more amplified she returns to him. When you immigrate, you are, in some ways, expected to put the past behind you and begin life as if what was before is no longer there even in your spirit. Yet, the more you try to forget and disconnect, the more amplified the past returns, and it returns as a pit of what used to be before.

        The song “Half of Us” is similarly depressing but unlike the “Waltz No.1”, the tragic lyrics are not accompanied by a cheerful melody. The lyrics of the song bring a sense of resolution that is amplified by the accompanying visuals of the music video. The song is about moving on and growing even though you have lost. This loss is exemplified in the lyric “نیمی از ما با طوفان می رفت نیمی از ما در شب جا می ماند” that translates to “half of us would leave with the tornado. Half of us would be left behind in the night”(Pallett Band, 2013”. The video that accompanies the lyrics of the song is old footage that is organized in a way to show older and older subjects from a newborn to an adult. The low quality of the footage gives the feeling that you are watching someone’s fuzzy memories of the past as they experience life. The visuals suddenly become more tumultuous at the stage of adulthood. It shows footage of the conflicts during the Iranian Revolution and the Iran-Iraq War. At the end of the song, during the previously mentioned lyrics, the visuals return to the footage of the childhood stage, showing that the lost half was the child in him.

        Pallett Band’s combination of the East and West in the songs “From Eastern Lands”, “Waltz No.1”, and “Half of Us” allow one to mourn the emptiness of the pit and fill it. “From Eastern Lands” made me internalize and enjoy the past. “Waltz No.1” prevented me from attempting to forget it. “Half of Us” moved me past trying to return to what was before. The songs are quite beautiful in their lyrics and melody, but what they can evoke in the spirit is much more appealing. Anyone with a connection to Iran should experience these songs, even if they are trying to forget. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiexouhTkp4     Half of Us

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvwBEbkuNXc   Waltz No.1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0LIdBl1bdE      From Eastern Lands